awholelotofcrunch

2000 & Twiglets a crap odyssey

A lot daft, not very bangin'. All a bit... meh.

Documunchery munching troubles

I'm in the earliest (ideas/storyboard/general faffing around) stage of planning the video/audio Twiglets documunchery I mentioned a while back and... well... excuse the vent, but I'm sorry... I think I'm up to 5 phone calls to the Twiglets media centre now with what would appear to be a very simple list of questions I need answered,

When did you start selling worcester sauce flavour Twiglets?
Why did you stop making them?
How many did you sell in comparison to Original Twiglets?
Are there any plans to re-introduce them? Or introduce a new brand?
Are you aware that there is a petition online to bring back worcester sauce Twiglets?
Do you monitor online chatter about Twiglets?
And while we're at it, what happened to Tangy Twiglets?

As far as I can tell, at this time the answers to these questions are unavailable on the interwebulator. The only obvious point of contact with mothership twiglet is via the following number,

Panning for Twiglet dust

Here's a dilemma. Your last bag of Twiglets in a foreign and Twigletfree land. You want to savour the last bites, but you also want to explore one of the key attractions to the snack that only Twiglets freaks can really know and understand. Much like the cruddy wee crumbs of batter and overcooked chip you find at the arse end of a bag of fish n chips, the bottom of a bag of Twiglets contains crumbs, burn off or Twiglet dust.

This particular bag doesn't offer up a tonne of dust, but as can be seen from the blurry satellite imagery of the particle separation tanks below, there be enough. Some be better than none and all that.

There are a number of ways to attack Twiglet dust; swallow from the bag, the one finger dab, the two finger grab and some folk just bin the lot. But, they're missing out. They're missing out big.

Twiglet dust packs the mightiest of all marmite power in a bag of Twiglets. A heady hit at the end of a bag that'll have you crawling back to the cornershop for just... one... more... hit...

A brief history of Twiglets...

On the English cultural ICONS website are a few tasty factoids about the flavour and origins of Twiglets,

"the covering on these convincingly twig-like snacks is Marmite"

OK. No great big surprises there, but good to see it in writing. Moving on to history, here's the French connection,

"It was a French technical manager Mr Rondalin, who worked for Peak Frean’s in the 1920s, who hit on the idea of the Twiglet. Using the same dough that was used for the firm’s crispbread, Vitawheat, he experimented with different shapes and flavourings, and the final product was launched in time for the Christmas market in 1929."

The history of Twiglets is something I hope to go into far greater depth later on. Will keep you posted.

Are Twiglets an English icon?

Hmmm?? Icon. That's some mighty status to bestow upon a brand of crisps. But, what the hell, if you're gonna bestow iconic status upon any of the snack/snackfood/crisp/chip family, it may as well be the best one.

According to the ICONS website,

"ICONS is the first project by ICONS Online, a not-for-profit organisation whose aim is to develop projects that provide stimulating interactive ways of exploring different cultural landscapes."

As can be seen from the snapshot above. Twiglets, at the time of going to blog, currently have 70% of voters in favour of naming Twiglets an English icon. It is also the 675th of 1089 nominations. Nice.

Nominate and get your YES vote in here.

Canada needs Twiglets

An expat yearns - and links to us - cheers :)

"Wholemeal and yeast, dusted in milk powder and maltodextrin - like fossilised poos from the Marmite monster - I love them, miss them, will be writing to Jacobs in a feeble attempt to get them to send me some."

On a scale of 1 to 10, Twiglets rate number 1 in expat yearned for foodstuffs.

Gimme a hug

Bit daft, not very funny really and not as good as the Brighton beach curry run.

Apparently...

The top 5 rules to becoming a big football club in the UK include at No. 3,

"... wine has become the essential big club lifestyle must-have. Witness the way Sir Alex Ferguson brilliantly sidestepped the issue of Manchester United's terrible Champions League thrashing in Milan by establishing that the whole thing was just a slightly tedious distraction from the real business of the night - the "tremendous bottle of wine" provided by Carlo Ancelotti. Wine or no wine is the key. Jose Mourinho brings his own. Crucially, so does Big Sam. Aidy Boothroyd, on the other hand, turns up with a four-pack of Skol in a blue plastic bag and spends the evening eating Twiglets in the kitchen," so says Barney Ronay.

Quite right too. Although I'd ditch the Skol for a Watneys Party Seven.

One year. One pence

Tesco on the left, Sainsbury's on the right, both with shelves stuffed with Twiglets. Photos taken one year apart and just 1p is the difference. 90p at Tesco, 91p at Sainsbury's. I'd wager Twiglets are more than holding their own what with the rate of inflation in other sectors. Good news all round.

Petition watch

The bring back Worcester sauce flavour Twiglets petition continues to pile the pressure on manufacturers Jacob's/United Biscuits. A mighty 78 signatures fill the petition as of today. Plenty of love in the comments. Here's a sampling of the pain,

It would fulfill my life long dream to finally taste a worcestery saucey flavoury twiglet!!!

BRING BACK TANGY TWIGLETS... IVE NOT HAD A FIX IN ABOUT 6MONTHS!!!

Do you lick?

Twiglets discharge, pleasure or pain? Examine & discuss.

It's an incontrovertible fact that a Twiglets eating sesh involves close contact with the magic sticky twig grease. Love it or loathe it, it does need to be dealt with. Licking or scrubbing are the sole options open, as far as I see things. Personally I'm a licker. But, much like the oft argued over end of packet Twiglets dust - do you swallow or do you bin it? - it's all down to personal choice. Lick? Scrub? Swallow? Take your pick.

$5.50 bag Manhattan score

Over on Chowhound, fellow expat Twiglets head ballulah hunts down a bag of the brown stuff in deepest Manhattan,

I headed straight to Myers of Keswick on Monday night and made it just before closing. They had them alright, but they weren't cheap: $5.50 a bag (150 g). The little shop next to Tea & Sympathy usually carries them, but they have been sold out everytime I've gone recently.

A search through the Chowhound lardbanks reveals the Twiglets yearners. the latest price check in the UK, courtesy of Sainsbury's and my trusted camera, 91 whole new pence.

Documunchery - The mysterious disappearance of Worcester sauce flavoured Twiglets

This is the working title for a short film I am about to start working on. In it I will ask the hard questions in a quest for the answer Google does not know. The documunchery will debut here and (possibly/probably) at Interesting 2007.